Experiencing the Self in the Mirror

Fleur Nelson, MA


INTRODUCTION

In this essay, I am exploring the metaphor of the mirror as the expressive device of the psyche. The mirror is not an external object but an intrinsic part of the process of individuation of the Self and a way to connect the psyche with the collective consciousness. The inner and outer world of the psyche, are projected out on a screen. The screen for the projections is the mirror of the embodied life. The spectator is the Self. The projected images are the symbolic language of the Soul.

We normally are caught in our projections without necessarily owning them; we have the tendency to deny the fact that what we meet in the mirror is but the psychological aspect of ourselves. Instead, of processing our individuality we want to identify with an image that is projected by other people. We somehow, feel comfortable to know that what we see is accepted by other spectators and fits in the organized institutionalized collective picture. What we forget is that the projected image will always be an extension of our mind and our belief system. If I want to look like an obedient employer, a dissatisfied, and depressed individual, that’s what I am going to see. And, if I want to look like a happy, independent, and spiritually free human being, that’s what I am going to see. Often, we complain, that it is because of the “other” that our life is miserable. But, how rarely, we claim the blame back by saying, that we have given the permission to the “other” to treat us this way.

This essay, is an attempt to use the language of the, “I” in order to give an “in-sight” to how it would feel to own everything that the Self is encountering in the phenomena of the mirror of life. The psychological self is reflected in the mirror as it establishes relationships with the other people. The patterns of the mind are constantly weaving the meaning of our reality. The self manifests as a body; it experiences life from the microcosm of the internal organs and body cells to the outside bigger body of nature, the planetary body of earth, the multiple dimensions, and the multiple worlds in the cosmos. The mirror, on a deeper level, can reflect the alchemical perspective. This perspective is not about what we know, but what we have forgotten, and what we need to remember in order to return to the wisdom of the Soul. The images translate the transpersonal self where one can see beyond the appearances and connect with the message of the Soul.

Taking a quite moment to reflect…I let my imaginary mind dwell in all aspects of my projected reality. I am not separate from my projections. I am the archetype that is activated out there for me. I am the symbol in the image. I become all the characters in my daily encounters. I see myself in all the people that I feel close to or averse from.

THE OTHER

In my early years, for a while, I am my mother, father, brother, and other significant relatives. I then, discover about my sexuality, as I become my first boyfriend. In my travels, I see replicas of my self in other cultures. I seek spirituality in my endeavors with spiritual masters. I become my teachers while exploring aspects of my highest potentials. I find parts of my self in the books that I read. I am fully participatory in my educational process. I try different jobs; I clothe my being into different roles and fabrics of life. In my experience of feelings of abandonment and betrayal I recognize parts of my self that are no longer serving my growth. While crying, I am in dialogue with my pain; yet, while I am laughing, I encounter life with humor. I navigate into the labyrinths of intimacy. I fall in love with my self; in other occasions, I am swimming in shallow relationship waters. I am my beloved husband and all of his friends and relatives. I am the counselor and healer. I am my client. I am sitting at the chair of a student. I see my self in every classmate.

I get to know more about my self by creating various plots in my life and by listening to other people’s stories. I am emotionally engaging with my story because it matters to me. I am responding to the story of the other because I identify with a theme or character that is played out. By getting involved with someone else’s story I happen to process psychological aspects of my self without me necessarily having to go through the same or similar experience. I find the meaning of the story compelling to my psyche. It is like looking at someone else’s mirror in order to abstract meaning for my self. Each experience is measuring the depth of my Self. Yet, I am incapable of understanding myself without measuring my life through the other. The story in the mirror is not fixed. Hillman (2004), in his book Archetypal Psychology describes the imaginative activity of the Soul being constituted by multiple images.

Images come and go (as in dreams) at their own will, with their own rhythm, within their own fields of relations, undetermined by personal psychodynamics. In fact, images are fundamentals which make movements of psychodynamics possible (p. 19).

I can absorb similar messages by various myths and stories. Each story will share an underlining theme, the archetype. At the end, it will be my interpretation of the archetype that will establish the tone of my own story.

I experience the passion as “ pathos”, or bliss. I am so intrigued by the various temperatures of my psyche. Only, I realize that the passion for knowledge and life engulfs itself in the violet flame of transmutation. In the action of compassion I learn to love my self. I gaze out to the unfolding of my imagination. The elements are spiraling softly within me. As I am deeply inhaling my life, in this precious moment, I breathe out harmony and beauty.

Depth Psychology adopts the alchemical attitude of consciousness. Consciousness looks at the emotional world symbolically, and therefore, transforms it into a spiritual experience. This process may circumambulate the Self through the elemental world in various aspects and forms, and stages of life. The patterns and archetypes will reappear on another level, and yet, another level, till the Self will learn to integrate the experience to the individuation process.

The whole process is then described as the earth changing into water, water into air, air into fire, fire into earth. There you have the classical idea of the “circulation”, of moving through the four elements, of repeating the process again but always on another level. There is the classical idea of the circumambulation of the Self through the elements and the different forms; that is, among other things, the circumambulation, the process of individuation through the four functions and different phases of life (Marie-Louise von Franz, 1980, p. 257).

In this quite moment, I am my active imagination. My sense of Self, dwells in the plethora of the projected images of my consciousness. I feel that no matter where I turn my attention, I cannot escape the interpretation that I give to the reflection of my own image. I pause. I am wondering if it would be possible, at all, to perceive my Self without the mirroring of the other.

I remember, as a child I am fascinated by the object mirror. I stand in front of the mirror for hours trying to figure out the dynamics that are playing out between the figures in the mirror and my self. Every time I want to dialogue with my self I come close to the mirror because I am delighted to meet again with my projected “friends”, the reflected imaginable images. My parents let me play with the mirror; and therefore, I perceive that I am encouraged to be charmed by my own projections.

Now, as an adult, each time I step back and become the observer I am wondering if I can experience myself outside the mirror. I am wondering if there were no projected images, what would be there to be perceived as being me.

THE EMBODIMENT OF THE REFLECTION

In the myth of Narcissus, Narcissus himself gets so captivated by his own image reflected in the river, that he forgets that is a mere projection of his own consciousness. As he remains mesmerized by his own projection he disassociates from his own body and throws himself in the river, which causes him his own death. Perhaps, Narcissus would not loose himself in the river if he had kept his awareness of being the spectator. One needs to keep a deliberate distance from the mirror, so that one is not completely captivated by the projected appearance. By cultivating this detached attitude one can achieve a more clear perspective about all reflections of daily activities in the mirror of life.

In daily life the reflection is taken for granted. It is simply assumed and passed over in our daily habits and routines. One does not notice the story which is reflected. On the contrary the story is lived through. Indeed, in order to realize the significance of the reflection as a reality that matters, the attitude of everyday life must be temporarily “disrupted” and an effort at “recovery” must be made (1980, p. 21).

Narcissus would also be able to stay detached by the world of the river by keeping the sensation of his body. The river in this case is a correlation to the emotional world. The sensational body is a major part of the Self. It is through our senses that we filter our emotional experiences. It is also through the body that the self manifests and carries through that which abides in consciousness. Both the Contemporary physics, as well as, Depth psychology are acknowledging the relation between the physical world and our psychological life.

We can never speak about the world without speaking about ourselves, nor speak about ourselves without speaking about the world (Romanyshyn, R., 2001, p.16).

I am standing in front of all these mirrors, and at this stage, I feel so deeply connected to my body. I am all these microorganisms, my cells, and my genes. As I hold the image of my projection I am also in dialogue with myself in my own body. I pause. I look now away from people and I see my self-emanated as the spirit of nature. I am the animals and the spirit of the passing souls. I am the body of earth; I am the galaxy and all the inter-dimensional worlds in the cosmos. I am the empty space, the dark matter, and the quantum leap.

THE MIND

The mind is like a mirror; it has the natural function to perceive what appears. The mind needs to put no effort; it only perceives and reflects. Yet, the result of whether we experience happiness or suffering is based on the way we interact with what our mind perceives. In other words, depending on our mental process we put meaning on the image that is reflected in the mirror. From this point of view, we can say, that we are more concerned with what appears in the mirror and how we interact with the appearances. The given world of material things is in a sense the vessel of psychological life (2001, p.15).

The mirror is a way of communicating with the projections of the self, as well, as the projections of the collective mind. The mirror facilitates self-introspection. The soul suffers when is constrained within a false image; an image that the ego has built in order to fit in the bigger picture of the conditional institutional world. The faulty picture of the Self starts to manifest as mental, emotional or physical distress. The Soul starts to suffocate because it is confined in an inauthentic system of life, which is not in synch with the nature of the Soul. The Soul seeks for individuation and meaning; and when it is deprived to create meaningful experiences, looses its power for creativity; it needs space in order to elicit its imaginative nature and be in peace.

Individuation therefore also means separation, differentiation, the recognition of what is yours and what is not. The rest has to be left alone. Libido and energy should not be wasted on things which do not belong. Therefore it can be said that there is just as much separation as integration, and that would be regeneration through fire until, as the text says, one reaches a condition of tranquility, for when people can let go the wrong ideals or collective attitudes they suddenly become peaceful (Marie-Louise von Franz, 1980, p. 257).

ECOLOGICAL PERSPECTIVE

In the mirror I see reflected visions of our times where a lot of people are in great suffering. I identify with the negative picture and try to perceive it as a manifestation of the collective mind; the vision which a lot of people are co-creating due to their collective actions and thoughts. I stay with this image for a while till I start to feel that the collective vision is no longer an experience outside of my self, or that it only concerns the people who experience suffering. Somehow, I am part of this image plot; or if you wish, I participate in some way, in constructing with others the potential of suffering. As I realize that I am the co-creator of human suffering the feeling of responsibility begins to grow. I have the urge to reach the others and tell them about my realization. I am anxious to share my perception and apply quickly a method that can reverse this possibility of global suffering.

Yet, more I stay with the picture, more I maintain the meditative stance of the observer. Iam no longer reacting emotionally to the image. By recognizing how my inner attitude can affect my reality I start to sense the power of choice been blown in my consciousness as the wind that changes the direction of the waters. The mirror at this point becomes blank. This blankness is the moment that time appears to stop, at the point where inhalation shifts to exhalation. All movement is breathing… I can hear a soft voice dictating, “breathe in, breath out; breathe in, breathe out; breathe in, breath out.”

I continue breathing. By inhaling I take in my consciousness the negative picture; the mirror absorbs the negative perception of my mind. All the suffering and pain becomes a black vortex that is absorbed in my heart. The negative perception metabolizes into a black vortex, which is spinning and neutralising all elements of my future experience. It feels like my entire being is sucked in an inter-dimensional black hole. For only a fraction of time, I find my self transferred in a parallel reality where I am creating the conditions to experience a harmonious and healthy life. I am part of a bigger ecological and cosmological picture; I am co-creating with people who share the same consciousness as me.

The negative image of suffering is shifting into the potential positive picture of well- beingness. The transforming element is my intention, which holds positive attitude and love for my self as well as for the others. I am aware that nothing is fixed. Quantum physics has developed the theory that it is in the power of the observer to change the physical synthesis of the particle energy. The microcosm simply reminds me that I hold the inherent choice of what kind of world I want to experience.

ALCHEMY

I choose to look outside of the mirror and I no longer see my self. The notion of the ego is no longer there. I decide to walk in the mirror, and by doing that I experience all the fractions of my self start one by one to be absorbed in me. What I perceive as me is neither the ego nor the body. They both are transformed into the presence of the Soul. The Soul seems to journey through the unification of body and mirror.

When I am connected with my Soul my consciousness is transferred into a new dimension of seeing. Alchemy is my new perspective. When I look with the eyes of the Soul my body appears to shape shift in a spectrum of images within my consciousness. When I look with the eyes of my ego, the mirror appears as a linear, flat glass projector, which hosts my limited sense of self. As I am holding both perspectives I experience the pain of separation. I pause.

I am not here to conquer the reflections till I see nothing. I am here to witness the unfolding of all petals of my imaginal mind. I recognize the illusion of the projection as a sacred container for alchemy to place. That each time, I am fully present in my life, I am taken to the realms of creativity of the Soul.

REFERRENCES

Hillaman, J. (2004). Archetypal Psychology. Putnam, Connecticut: Spring Publications.

Marie-Louise von Franz. (1980). Alchemy. An introduction to the symbolism and the psychology. Torondo, Canada: Inner City Books.

Romanyshyn, R. (2001). Mirror and metaphor. Pittsburgh, PA: Trivium Publications.